Dealing with Jealousy in Business

Jealousy in business is something we all experience at one point or another, but it’s rarely talked about openly. In today’s episode, I’m getting real about this often uncomfortable emotion and how it can actually be a tool for growth if we learn to navigate it.

We’ve all been there, comparing ourselves to someone else’s highlight reel and wondering, “Why isn’t that me?” But here’s what I’ve learned over the years: jealousy isn’t the enemy; it’s actually a signal from within, showing you what you truly desire.

I’ll be sharing my own experiences with jealousy in business, how it’s shown up in my journey, and how I’ve learned to work with it instead of against it. You’ll hear the mindset shifts and strategies that helped me turn those feelings into powerful motivation for growth, and how it helped me reframe as feedback from the universe, showing me what I want to create for myself.

If you’ve been feeling stuck, frustrated, or like you're falling behind, this episode is going to help you shift your perspective and turn that envy into fuel for your own success.

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Transcript

Hello guys, welcome back to a new episode of the Flow State Business Podcast. It's so nice to have you back here and you guys, thank you so much for the most wonderful feedback on last week's episode where I had three of my beautiful clients guesting on and so many of you were commenting on just how unique and how cool it was to hear from others who were also on similar paths and similar journeys. And yeah, I definitely will be doing more of these episodes. I've actually already hit up more of my clients because they heard the episode and they were like, hey, how can I get onto one of these, you know, style episodes? I'd love to share my point of view as well. So there definitely will be more of those coming right up. And yeah, it's, you know what, it's been really cool because I have been racking my brain on ways that I could share more of the most amazing people that I work with and doing that on the podcast. But if I were to offer everybody a singular spot on here, we would be booked out for years and years. I do help at the moment, 70 plus clients across different mastermind groups, the membership, the mini mind, individual clients, Voxer clients. I mean, it just, it would be a lot of episodes and I just don't think I'd be able to fully keep up. But in saying so, I am so excited to continue on the conversation in a way, this is maybe a bit of a strange segue but we're going to go with it. Because I host so many groups and so many people in the groups are, don't get me wrong, absolutely incredible and amazing and I'm so privileged that I'm able to be a part of their business journey and their story. Inevitably, what I do see from time to time is the green with envy emotion which is jealousy. I've also experienced jealousy myself being in other mastermind groups and especially, you know, comparing myself a lot to individuals who are doing such massive things in business and I do want to have a whole entire conversation based on jealousy in business because it is such a wild emotion. It can literally hit you so hard when you see somebody else smashing their goals and suddenly you're feeling like that green-eyed monster and you just feel like, when did that become me? But here's what I've learned. And honestly, what I remind myself about constantly is that jealousy isn't such a bad thing. It's just feedback from your soul showing you what's possible. And you can deal with it in a way that is really positive. And I want to talk about a few different ways that you can work with this, but also different perspectives. So you'll hear me jump around from my own stories of jealousy, but also how I work with jealousy with the groups I'm in when I notice clients are getting jealous of each other and hopefully it will leave you with a much more well-informed way, right, like a mirror almost of if you notice that coming up for yourself what you can do to really empower yourself as part of the process. I remember this one time I was in a mastermind group. This is one that I'd paid for to be in and it was an incredible mastermind. It was run by a coach of mine and he brought together so many incredible entrepreneurs who they were doing like $10 million a month type of thing. They were really the 1% of 1% of creators and startup founders. They came from all different backgrounds and industries, and I was very privileged to be a part of this group. Anyway, there was this one particular woman in the group, and the way that he had run the cohort was there was like morning sessions for one time zone, evening sessions for another time zone, and she was always in my time zone. So I got to know her a lot. you know, listening to her questions and, you know, similarly with me and she would be like, oh my gosh, you know, I love your questions. And we just got to stay close to one another quite a bit during those mastermind calls. And to me, it just seemed like she had it all. You know, the type, every time she showed up, she'd just casually mention her latest money win and it was so massive, like it actually just blew my mind how casual she was about it. And I was just sitting there thinking to myself, why isn't this working out for me the way it is for her? I was on this Zoom screen and trying to maintain a positive attitude and have a smile on my face. And you know what? It wasn't that I wanted her to fail. That's definitely not what came through for me. But it was more of this deep, deep frustration, like wondering what I was missing, wondering why I didn't have those successes. You ever had that feeling? You know what? And the bigger the business got for her, the more I felt this real pang of jealousy growing. I actually even spoke to my coach about it on one of the calls. I was quite embarrassed that I had to bring it up, but it was so prevalent. And I hadn't really experienced this before in business ever. And this can happen when you're in larger containers where. you know, the coach or whoever's hosting it is calling in really big energy. And ultimately that's why I signed up to be around it as well. You know, that's the irony of it all, but you know, it was great. Like he handled it really wonderfully and talked me through it. And for the longest time before I spoke to him about this, I kept it to myself. I didn't even really talk to Michael about it. I was absolutely really happy for her. I hope that does come across, but I just couldn't help but feel that this comparison was creeping in in such a big way. The funny thing is we actually did become really good friends over time. This mastermind went on and on and on. It was like a 12 month mastermind. So long. and eventually we started to do some one-on-ones on the side and I told her how jealous I was. Like at the start I think she thought I was just sort of mentioning it really casually and sort of joking like I'm so jealous of your success and she's like haha and I'm like no really like I am so jealous. of your success. And she's like, Oh, really? And I was like, I have to be really open with you. And I'm like the every time you show up and you just casually mentioning how much you earned and how easy it was. And do you know what she said to me? She said to me, I'm so jealous of you. And it was this moment where we just burst out laughing. And she admitted to me though, that it wasn't all as it seemed. Yes, her business was growing, but she was wildly out of balance and alignment. She had a lot of things going on in her personal life behind the scenes. She said to me that she was stressed all the time. She was running on fumes. She felt completely disconnected from her flow. And that hit me really hard because, you know, I wasn't feeling that level of stress or burnout in my own journey. And she saw that as so inspirational, and I saw her money wins as so inspirational. And then I realised something, that I was comparing myself to her highlight reel, to my day-to-day reality. And I wasn't at all understanding the full picture. And that conversation really changed everything for me. I'm so grateful to her that we could just be so open with one another. She's still really good friends with me to this day, lives halfway across the world, but amazing, you know, and it really helped me see that success isn't always what it looks like on the surface. And that feeling jealous was just a way of saying, I want more of this particular thing in my life, but I wanted to do it my way, aligned and balanced and without having to sacrifice my own version of fulfillment and feeling peaceful about having a business that's thriving. I love Abraham Hicks. I literally go through months and months where I will put Abraham Hicks on as I'm brushing my teeth and doing my hair and putting my makeup on. I start my day with something from YouTube, right, from Abraham Hicks. And if you don't know who Abraham Hicks is, look them up. They're an entity and I just really find their wisdom so incredibly, incredibly useful for me and where my soul journey is at. And I was listening to this episode of Abraham slash Esther Hicks and they were talking about how jealousy is simply an indicator that you're out of alignment with your own desires. Ooh, that really hit me. And they go on to say that when you feel jealousy, you're focused on what somebody else has. And in doing so, you're blocking yourself from receiving what's actually meant for you in your unique way. It's not that the universe is, you know, stingy or unfair or that there's not enough of what you want because it's all gone to one person. It's just that you're turning your focus on the lack, not the abundance. So think of it as the universe giving you this little nudge and saying, hey, hey, calm down. That's success that you're envious of. It's actually really available for you to, once you get back into alignment. Isn't that just so freeing to think about it in that way. And you might be thinking about how do I get into alignment? Like what, what do I need to do? We'll talk about this. But jealousy is actually, now I look at it as a really beautiful contrast. That brings a lot of clarity my way. So I know that whenever I feel it, I ask myself, what does that person's success make me want more of in my own life? So instead of spiraling into this comparison mode and keeping me really held back and then maybe even putting me into a space of total inaction. I actually let that jealousy spark my desires. And then I'm able to use that energy to get really clear on what my next steps are, what my vision looks like. I'm actually going to be hosting a 2025 vision workshop in person with a Gold Coast crew. So if you happen to be on the Gold Coast, tickets are available and there's only a very small amount of tickets because of the room location that I booked. But it is going to be so amazing for you to really think big picture. And maybe we'll even use this discussion of where have you felt jealous in business to fire up ourselves for what the 2025 goals are going to look like. So check out the show notes below if you want to come to my in-person event. I think you're going to absolutely love it. But here's the thing, when you do celebrate somebody else's win, so if you've ever been in, if you're coming to the in-person event, you better believe we're going to be celebrating everybody's wins of 2024. But if let's say you're part of a group mastermind and or any sort of team type environment, when you are celebrating what they've done, you're basically telling the universe, I'm so ready for that energy too. And the more that you lean into celebrating others, the more you're going to align with the success that you're seeking. That's how you get into alignment. It's all about shifting your focus from poor me, why not me, victim me, to that's proof that it's so fucking possible for me too. And that to me just feels incredibly empowering because at the end of the day, everything's always working out for us. Do you believe that? Jealousy is just a signpost that maybe you're looking for things from the wrong angle. And I know whenever I give myself a little like reality check it almost always is this really weird angle that I'm looking at something through or maybe it's just hormonal or maybe it's just the whatever personal life stuff's going on and it's shifted my perspective and not in a good way. When You pivot and you start allowing yourself, because it is a decision and it is a permission slip, to feel good about your own path, how far you've come, the decisions you've made. Like, just look at how far you've come to actually get to this point. Be proud of yourself. And this is when you can really trust that what you desire is already on its way. and it flows so much easier, it flows so much faster when you think about it in this way. Hey guys, I am going to briefly interrupt this episode which I hope you are absolutely loving and let you know that I have a free resource to help you connect deeper to the energy of impossible success. This is an EFT tapping emotional freedom technique, one of my favorite ways in order to help connect the body at a cellular level to my bigger desires and goals in business. You are going to love it. If you've never done it before, it's going to be a whole new incredible experience. Link is in my show notes, so go ahead and grab that for you right now, which you can listen to after this episode. Okay, let's head back. Now, I want to switch gears slightly because over the years of running a mastermind, I've run one mastermind consistently since 2019. That's the Amplify mastermind, 100-day mastermind to help you really, really connect back to the vision of your business, connect back to a clean, effective strategy that helps you sell your personal brand, Amplify, so that more and more clients are walking through the door with you. That mastermind is also opening up very shortly. So keep a close eye on my socials if you're wanting to jump on board and say yes to the Amplify mastermind. And we're going to actually go for 111 days because there's Christmas and end of year stuff. Anyway, more on that very shortly. But over the years of running many mastermind groups, many, many, and different programs where sometimes there's like three people in a program, sometimes there's 50 in a program, sometimes there's way, way more depending on how I ticket it. I have seen firsthand individuals who give in to their jealousy and often reflect that back. in a world of hurt and this tornado of disruption to the group. I'm wondering if you've ever experienced that, whether you were the disruptor or whether you've noticed it with somebody else. It is a highly spiky frequency and it looks like this ripple effect that literally rips through the group and it can shift the energy of an entire space so quickly because one person is unable to control their jealousy in a way that amplifies their success. Instead, they fall very quickly and deeply into a dark victim mode. And as a coach or a mentor, it's so crucial for you to recognize these moments pretty quickly. Use your, whether it's your EQ, your emotional intelligence, your intuition, your gut feel like something's changed. You can just tell sometimes even with like squint of an eye or body language or even someone who might so obviously roll their eyes at somebody else's success. It's up to you on how you choose to do this. But for me, as a teacher and guide, I pick up on that very fast. I am very, very clear on the energy of the room. Because as I look around the Zoom room, I'm not looking at myself. I've always got it on gallery view, and I'm looking at every single person in the room. And I host groups where 99% of the cameras are turned on. It's funny, like I've never asked that of the group. but they just show up present and they show up around. I really cannot stand it when a Zoom camera is off. I won't say this directly to the group at the time, but it's really not my favorite. It's not easy for me to read energy that way. And sometimes it can come across as a little bit rude. Because I'm like, well, you wouldn't shop to a meeting and not actually be there in person and be like, no one look at my face and I'm not going to say anything. But I get that there's certain special circumstances where you do need to have the camera off. So there's always context to that. But for the most part, my clients show up on ready, present. So I'm always scanning the room. And when you see that jealousy shows up, you can guide them in a way that actually preserves the integrity of the group whilst also helping the person navigate through their emotions. So I want to offer some of these up, especially if you are in a phase in your business where you are hosting more groups and you're finding yourself in this situation where you know the tone and the temperature of the group has changed. The first step is always creating, don't roll your eyes, but this is the only way you can say this, creating a safe space. Michael hates that term so much. So now every time I say it, he's like, oh my God, a safe space. And I'm like, you don't understand. But it is, it's a safe space where jealousy can actually be acknowledged. You know, I think it's a really wonderful thing when you're able to say, oh my God, that made me really jealous. And you say it in a way that's quite lighthearted, but rather than dismissing it, if you hear one of your clients say that, rather than laughing it off, it as something, you know, like nonchalant, or if it's something that's said more seriously and you are dismissing it as something negative, let them know that it's actually a very natural emotion to feel that way. If you have stories of your own jealousy, share that. You know, this really opens up the door for a more constructive conversation, not just with that individual, but as a whole group. And turning that jealousy from this hidden wound, this is an opportunity for group flow, for the group to actually connect with one another, to have that reflection. Because as we've already talked about, jealousy is a sign that there is expansion around and in the room, but it's also a sign that that person's feeling very stuck or frustrated with their own progress. So this is what you can do. You can ask questions like, what specifically about that person's share or when so-and-so shared a win feels frustrating for you? Or if they've said it and they said, oh, that really triggered me, what specifically about their success feels triggering for you? Use their words, right? Or what do you feel is missing in your own journey right now that has potentially brought on that avalanche feeling of jealousy? And this is very good, you know, for you to be able to hold that space in a very loving way and in a really nurturing way. And every time that's come up and it hasn't happened all that much, but you know, handful of times the person who's feeling really jealous has this big breakdown and it's a very vulnerable moment. And then others in the group just show the fuck up and hold them. It's actually so beautiful, like I feel so emotional even thinking back to the groups where this has happened. Because what's happened here is you've got this group of soul brothers and sisters who are helping the individual reframe jealousy as a journey to help them really signal, hey universe, I see now that I'm here and I choose to instead turn this into this real sense of possibilities for me. and I'm turning my lack into this dream. If somebody else's success is triggering your emotions that much, it's often a sign that you are on the cusp of owning your breakthrough. But the breakthrough won't come until you're able to really pinpoint Where is it? What's missing in my journey right now? And why have I held myself back so much from getting what I actually really want? And, you know, like even if I think about it now, the other times that I felt quite jealous, it's almost this release of emotion because I can finally articulate what I want so badly in my life. And it's not easy to kind of articulate your dreams, you know, like, you know, the feeling of you see it on a Pinterest board and you're kind of like, that's kind of what I want, but it's not exactly. And then you might be journaling and you can't quite think of the words to talk about what you want. And then somebody shares their reality and where they're at. And it's just this rush of emotions and this frequency that runs through your body and your veins and you go, that is it. And then you feel this jealousy of like, why can't I have that? That's what I want. That's the breakthrough, babes. That's it. I want you to think about this as this channel of energy that's inspiring you to action rather than letting it spiral you into resentment. Now, whilst you are holding the energy of the group, and as everyone is hopefully holding each other up, or if you haven't quite yet addressed it as a group and you don't feel like that's the right thing to do, and you do that with the one-to-one individual instead, you still need to protect the group's energy, because I can guarantee everyone's going to feel it in some form. It's such a spiky frequency that it's not something that can be hidden very easily, unless you're fast asleep and you don't really know what's going on behind everyone's Zoom screens. But for the most part, especially for masterminds where it's a very closed environment, everyone will feel it. And whilst you're helping out the individual and you're doing your thing and being an awesome coach, it's also so important to come back into the rest of the group And, you know, just check in. How's everyone feeling right now? How's everyone's positive levels going? Be mindful of maybe their own journey and how it might feel a little bit smaller because they feel like they can't share certain things or they feel like they don't want to be gloaty. They don't want to share their massive wins. You, according to however you want to run your group, you can give them permission to go as big as they need to go. And that might mean have those private conversations to address their feelings and reinforce anything that you feel needs to be. Talk about group boundaries, talk about what is so encouraged and just, you know, there's so much that you can do around bringing the conversation back to a collective growth mindset because ultimately jealousy in a group doesn't Gosh, you know, like the settings around it doesn't have to lead to chaos, but it can. I was part of a mastermind group, another one, and there was a small group of women. There was probably only, I don't know, six of us, nine of us. And the jealousy in the group actually stemmed from the coach. Plot twist. This was so interesting because as everyone was going around the group sharing their wins, I personally felt that the coach and the host of the group was so angry. There was just this no other kind of way to describe it. She would project her anger back to the rest of the group and would cut down a lot of the celebrations. It was very, this very complex involved energy and emotion. And that transformed the group into extremely gossipy, disruptive energy. People were talking about one another. It was so unhealthy. Needless to say, I left that group very early. I did not continue working inside of there because the way it was handled was not great. It definitely didn't foster deeper self-awareness and it didn't foster growth because I felt like I couldn't share what I wanted to share without angering the group even more. And there was just this real loss of connection to the business as well. So that's a very extreme example, but if you feel that in any way, I wish I had a little bit more maturity to have done that, or maybe just my energy went not worth it, but you could address it with the individual as well if you're feeling that. And, you know, like as we talk a lot about this sense of jealousy bubbling up, just take a quick moment to realize that, you know, this theme's come up quite a bit. So I do want to give you a moment to remind you to have a look at what it's actually trying to tell you about your own desires and any stories, anything that might be Oh, I don't know, holding you back from really addressing it fully, remembering maybe even some childhood stories. What did your teachers say to you about being jealous? What has your employers said to you about being jealous? Your parents, of course, other friends, like, you know, especially in girl groups, you This is such a common, common aspect. How did you deal with jealousy? Maybe you liked someone and then that someone went with your best friend or maybe at Christmas time, someone got the present that you really wanted. Like just think about it as a whole. It's such an interesting emotion to look at and to address and to really think about it just at purely a human level outside of business, because you might start to realize that there are some patterns. And it's stopping you from trusting that your own path is going to lead you to where you need to be in a way that feels right for you. Because when you break it down and that emotion, that envy, this signal that you're longing for to have more in your life, it isn't a bad thing. It's actually just the energy waiting to be redirected. And for some of us, it might've taken 20 years to realize it. You know, it's like a jealousy that you've hung on to since primary school. It's like, damn, I needed this podcast episode to show me this. And instead of letting it weigh you down subconsciously for the most part or making you feel less than or not shouting out your amazing wins from the rooftop because someone said that they were jealous of you and that's kept you small. Think of it as a mirror. Reflect back the possibilities that exist for you. It's honestly just so empowering when you have this in your life and you can see it in a really clear way. Because when you're feeling jealous, it's not just a sign that someone else has something that you can't have. It's actually the universe reminding you, tap, tap, tap on the shoulder. You know what? That desire that you wanted, it's on its way. The money you want, it's here if you're willing to align to it. So the next time jealousy pops up, embrace it. Learn from it. Use it as fuel to go after your impossible success. And that's how you turn impossible successes into inevitable successes. And that path will be much easier. If you've ever felt that level of just, Oh, I'm so resistant to this, or, you know, it just feels so far away. Just remind yourself, the only reason why it feels so far away is because you're comparing your timeline to somebody else's. That's all it is. You're already on your way. So I want to close this episode with a little affirmation to carry with you. Listen to it as much as you need to, and just put your hand on your heart to receive this if it feels good. I release all jealousy and I embrace the truth that what I desire is already on its way to me. I trust in my journey. knowing that there is so much more success and abundance that's on its way to me. I celebrate the wins of others as a reminder of the infinite possibilities that exist for my own life. I release the jealousy. I turn it into something so empowering I am more in alignment. I am worthy and I'm ready to receive all that is meant for me. Okay, my loves, I hope you love this episode so much. I know I'm going to have some juicy chats in the DMs. Come on over to Instagram, find me. I'm at Ruby Lee and let me know what came up for you because this topic is always so good to just get off your chest. I would love it if I could hear some stories or what light bulb moments came to you. Listen to this next time you might feel a little pang of jealousy, wherever it's, you know, stemming from just as a reminder of how you can turn around that energy, spiky frequency into one that is just pure flow and potentiality in your life and business. Okay, my loves, I will catch you in the next episode. Thanks again for tuning in and big kisses. See you next week.